Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
