Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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