You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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