Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
