i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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