Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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