I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
