If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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