I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
