Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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