a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
