He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
