No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
