You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
