My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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