I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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