did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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