Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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