Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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