your room smells of hookers.
And success
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
