..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
