yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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