just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
