OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
