Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Acid is not a monday night drug
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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