using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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