i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
