Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
