What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize