Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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