i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
