You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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