No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
