ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is the high leading the old right now
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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