Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
