so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
