I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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