Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
