Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
