They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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