We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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