WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
