Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
