so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
