i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
