Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
