dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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