Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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