We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
