U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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