so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
