census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
