I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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