i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
