3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
