the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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