Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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