I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I look better un-naked...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
There's even glitter on my cock...
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