Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
