i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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