Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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